Yogas citta vritti nirodaha
This semester I have made a commitment to myself, to deepen my practice, to take my spirituality and my career to the next level. The principles of Raja yoga have integrated into my awareness of my every day life. As I deepen my practice, my conscious awareness continues to expand. I have expanded my horizons in yoga by studying the Yoga Sutras in class, trying different styles of yoga and by being consistent with my practice.
Lately, more than ever, I have been living my Raja Yoga. I keep in mind the eight principles of Ashtanga Yoga throughout my day, beginning with Yama, moral restraint in action, speech and thought. I practice Ahimsa by cultivating compassion for all beings and practice non-violence by refraining from use of force. Sometimes this is difficult. I do catch myself becoming forceful in some situations, such as with parenting, I find myself raising my voice or getting a little pushy when my kids are not behaving how I want them to. At times I loose my patients, but I am more aware of it today. When I catch myself loosing my patients, I take a deep breath and a step back.
Satya is honesty with behavior, thought and intention. This too is an ongoing practice. I have taken big steps toward being honest with myself. Today, more than ever before in my life, I am willing to speak my truth and do what is right for me, rather than what I think I should do to please others. I think Asteya, non-stealing comes easily to me. I am not one to steal people’s time, energy, or belongings. Brahmacharya, the practice of celibacy is more of a challenge for me. I find that I tend to go for all or nothing. If someone is attracted to me and I am not attracted to them, then I simply turn them down. If I am attracted to someone, I may move quickly even if I know it would probably be in my best interest to slow down. There needs to be more than an initial attraction. I want there to be a real heart connection. Early this year, I hurt someone’s heart as they felt more strongly for me than I did for them. When it didn’t work out, it ruined the chance for a good friendship. To correct this behavior, I have recently made a vow to renounce loveless sex. If my heart is not in it, I won’t do it. This allows me to have more respect for myself and to not hurt or confuse anyone else.
Aparigraha is the separation between wants and needs. More and more, I have been able to distinguish between my wants from my needs. There is not much I want for on the material plane. My budget is tight. I often only buy things for myself if I feel I need them. My material requirements are becoming more modest all the time.
The Niyamas are discipline in actions, conduct and attitudes. I have been developing these. Saucha is purity or cleanliness of physical body, diet, thought and environment. My diet has improved a lot this year. I eat a lot more vegetables and fruits, while eating a lot less processed foods, enriched grains, sweets and fatty foods. I feel better and have more energy. My home and car have been more consistently clean in recent months than they have been in the past. I have noticed that keeping a cleaner environment helps me to keep a clear head. Santosha means to be satisfied and appreciate what we have and to keep a positive attitude toward what we do not have. I have come a long way with this concept as I have matured. I am content knowing that my worldly needs are met. If there is something I do not have, I distinguish whether it is a want or need. If it is a want, I do not pay much attention to it. If it is a need, I devise a plan to get the need met, while practicing patience and diligence toward reaching that goal. This is Tapas, a burning enthusiasm for practice and life’s work. Through discipline, self control and persistence I can eventually attain anything I am passionate about. This year I finally received my Reiki Master attunement which had been a goal of mine for several years. I have also been working towards my Bachelor’s degree and am now working on my final quarter. The attainment of that goal is just a couple of months away. Swadhaya is self study, self discovery, mindful self reflection. In conjunction with my Reiki training and my yoga practice, I took a course entitled Multi-dimensional bodywork, in which we journeyed through the chakras, identifying our old wounds, clearing the false ego and getting more in tune with our true selves. It was truly an amazing experience that transformed me in depth. Ishvarapranidhana is a knowing of a higher power. I have always believed in a God of some form. My Yoga practice definitely brings me closer to my higher consciousness and with the chakra work I have done, I feel a strong connection in my seventh chakra to spirit.
My Asana practice has improved this semester. I have been much more consistent about showing up to my regular class as well as trying classes at new places. This semester I took a couple of asana classes at Integral Yoga Institute, the YMCA and at a Bikram studio in Santa Rosa. I enjoyed the variety of styles and theories for practice. Pranayama has become a habit. Not only do I intentionally sit and practice nadhi shodan (alternate nostril breathing) or kapalah bahti (breath of fire) at some point almost every day, I also invoke ujai breath or four part breathing throughout my day whenever I wish to become more grounded, centered and present. Practicing asana and pranayam have helped me to improve my focus, known as Dharana. Regular practice helps me to meet the many demands of my life. When I find myself stressed, tired or scattered, I practice asana, pranayam or meditation, then return to my tasks with a renewed ability to focus and stay present. Dhyana or meditation has become a daily ritual for me as well. As often as I can, I do sit quietly for anywhere between five and twenty minutes in meditation. I also call upon a meditative state throughout my day, focusing on staying present, grounded and connected to source. My yoga practice is the foundation of my spiritual life, complimenting my Reiki and bodywork practices which have ritualistically opened me up to source. I am now more aware of my seventh chakra than I ever was before. I have tasted Samadhi. I do not know if I will attain full enlightenment in this lifetime, but I am more confident and more in touch with my higher power than I ever have been.
The entire practice of yoga boils down to this one point, sutra 1:2, to settle the mind into silence. All of the Yogic practices and the sutras lead back to this quieting of the mind, which enables us to become more in tune with our true nature, which is peace. Sutra 1:5 deals with the different types of activity of the mind. These are right knowledge, wrong knowledge, imagination, sleep, dream and memory. Each of these result from our experiences. If we are attached to our experiences, they continue to live inside of us and will haunt us like a ghost. Yogic practices can help us to detach from our experiences, so that they loose their power over us. In recent months I have done a lot of work with that. I have identified past experiences which had taken hold of my subconscious mind, taken action to release them and to reclaim my own power. The Yoga Sutras speak of detachment. This can be difficult to do. There is much I am attached to, but just acknowledging the attachment allows me to loosen my grip. Attachment is but one obstacle to enlightenment. Others are illness, fatigue, doubt, carelessness, laziness and delusion. The three thieves of the heart that tend to keep most of us from reaching our potential are self doubt, self hate and fear. Today I work diligently to face these and to overcome. There was a time when I did not even try many things I was interested in because I doubted myself. There still are many things I would like to try. One by one, I am facing my fears, overcoming my doubt and going for it.
Yoga has helped my mind to become more clear and serene. The qualities of my heart are continuously being cultivated. Much of my life is now full of joy. I have compassion for those who suffer, but do not necessarily take their problems on as my own. I let my light shine, practicing loving kindness with passion. This makes me attractive as a friend, a teacher and a practitioner of healing arts.
